Baptist preachers have a reputation - probably deserved - of being fat. That doesn't make them slow bellies. A lot of it is an occupational hazard. Part of it is ignorance. This blog is dedicated to blasting ignorance with a little knowledge - and a few laughs!

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Eat Your Way to Health?

I'm not really lazy, just a little heavy and "out of shape," as my doctor puts it.  I've been keeping my eyes open for a fast, easy way to get fit and healthy.  My secretly cherished hope that I could eat my way into shape was confirmed when I got an unsolicited email entitled "Olympic Athletes' Diet Secrets."  Ah!  Just what the doctor ordered.  I put down my Almond Joy and clicked.


No need to google it; I'll tell you what Olympic athletes eat.  They eat food.  Admittedly, their food hasn't been processed as much as mine has.  If you're not familiar with the jargon, "processing" is what distinguishes salad from an Almond Joy.  Anyway, most of the items in their diets are also found in mine, just in slightly different proportions.  So, that's it?


Look, I'm no fool.  Diet alone can't account for the differences between me and Michael Phelps, to pick an athlete at random.  Body mass obviously plays a part, too.  Body mass is calculated by multiplying your height by the number of calories in your favorite candy bar.  Or, in a pinch, you can compare your own picture with one of Michael Phelps.


Mind you, total mass is not the whole problem.  Part of the problem is distribution.  I mentioned to Mary the other day that I wouldn't really need to lose any more weight if I could just move some of my body mass from my stomach to my shoulders.  "Hmmm," she mused.  "Pot shoulders.  Should be interesting, though I doubt it's any healthier."


Well, if that sounds bizarre, listen to one of the funniest, craziest, most absurd things I've ever heard about getting in shape:  "The best way to lose weight is to eat smaller portions and get more exercise."   Ha ha ha ha ha!  See if you can top that one!  I don't know where people come up with these things.  Can you imagine?!  Priceless, isn't it?


Haven't they ever heard about real diets?  I'm working on my own right now.  It's called Gene's Olympian Diet:  Bigger, Wider, Fatter.  Once published, I expect it to be a massive best seller.


Following my diet will be loads of fun.  However, it won't leave you looking like an Olympic athlete.  And, you may find yourself with a dependence on chocolate, coconut and almonds.


Don't say you weren't warned.





PS  Seriously, though, diet and exercise are important aspects of getting – and staying – in good health.  That's not the question.  The question is  how to go about it in a sane, efficient, sustainable way.  "Eat smaller portions and get more exercise" is a little vague.  So, what can be done?


You can do what Tom Venuto has done:  Spend a few years doing research, and a couple of decades training hundreds of people, to fine tune a program that will work for you.  Or, you can avail yourself of the information available to you in Tom's eBook, Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle.  Tom has written a sensible, balanced, informative, massive volume that shows you how to design an individualized nutrition and exercise plan that fits you best.  


He is NOT selling supplements, vitamins, exercise equipment, pills, drugs or even Almond Joys.  Just information that will help you reach goals you may have thought were unattainable, and to do so without inadvertently doing things that sabotage your own efforts.  I recently bought it, and it has revolutionized the way I eat, exercise and live.  I only wish I had known these things years ago.


But, don't just take my word for it – visit his Burn the Fat website to learn all about the program, sign up for his twelve part mini course, Big Fat Lies, and get even more free goodies to get you started. Then, when you are serious about fat loss, order his eBook here.


Or, better yet, order now. Listen, you have nothing to lose but fat. Tom even offers you an 8-WEEK, NO-RISK, UNCONDITIONAL 100% MONEY BACK GUARANTEE!


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