Fat Baptist Preachers: "Slow Bellies"?

3rd try

2010-12-05T18:28:00.001-08:00

Dear «Custom Field 1»

"Don't point at the moon!" a Yellow Leaf kid reprimanded Mary recently. "Your finger will rot off."

Fear or worship of the sun, moon, stars and other things in the sky is common in cultures around the world. Things that can't be controlled, eaten, destroyed or even touched by us often have this effect on people. The Yellow Leaf are no exception, and they start teaching their children early.

Offhand comments that the Yellow Leaf people make often give us some good insights into what they are teaching the kids, and what they themselves believe. It's also good feedback for us to know where we need to concentrate our teaching.

What would you suggest we do after hearing the above remark?

Mr. In (pronounced "in") is a Yellow Leaf man who is recovering from TB. His most recent tests have shown him free from the infection, but not the effects. He has lost most of the function of one of his lungs and is pretty much tethered to an oxygen concentrator for most of the day – or is supposed to be. He gets to feeling better, turns off the machine and wanders off to find a smoke. . . Bad habits are hard to shake!

We are thankful that his recent checkups at the hospital have been good, and that he was able to endure the time away from supplemental oxygen so well – maintaining a safe level of oxygen in his blood for the entire day. It probably helped, of course, that he wasn't smoking, but there's no telling him that.

Please continue to pray for us as we share the Good News with him and the other Yellow Leaf people who live here. And, thank you for sharing in the burdens of this work with your love, prayers and gifts. We are so thankful for the $«Custom Field 2» that you have sent us over the last two months.

You can click the link here to see some pictures of Lapat Joy, the special needs Yellow Leaf girl who is being cared for at Hope Home in Chiang Mai City, Thailand. Please keep her in your prayers.

We were last back in the States in 2007. Seems like only yesterday. . . But, we are now making tentative plans to come back again for a short time next year. We'd like to arrive the first part of August 2011 and stay through at least part of October the same year. Please pray with us as we look into purchasing tickets, lining up meetings and all the other details that have to be worked out. In case you haven't guessed, we're very excited!

Thank you again for being a part of our lives.

«Custom Field 3»

«Custom Field 4»

__________________________
Gene and Mary Long
203 M. 13 Ban Bunyuen
T. Ban Wiang A. Rong Kwang
Phrae 54140
Thailand

Re: 2nd try

2010-12-05T18:26:00.001-08:00

Why this didn't go through?

On Sun, Dec 5, 2010 at 1:15 PM, Gene and Mary Long <mlabritribe@gmail.com> wrote:

Dear «Custom Field 1»

"Don't point at the moon!" a Yellow Leaf kid reprimanded Mary recently. "Your finger will rot off."

Fear or worship of the sun, moon, stars and other things in the sky is common in cultures around the world. Things that can't be controlled, eaten, destroyed or even touched by us often have this effect on people. The Yellow Leaf are no exception, and they start teaching their children early.

Offhand comments that the Yellow Leaf people make often give us some good insights into what they are teaching the kids, and what they themselves believe. It's also good feedback for us to know where we need to concentrate our teaching.

What would you suggest we do after hearing the above remark?

Mr. In (pronounced "in") is a Yellow Leaf man who is recovering from TB. His most recent tests have shown him free from the infection, but not the effects. He has lost most of the function of one of his lungs and is pretty much tethered to an oxygen concentrator for most of the day – or is supposed to be. He gets to feeling better, turns off the machine and wanders off to find a smoke. . . Bad habits are hard to shake!

We are thankful that his recent checkups at the hospital have been good, and that he was able to endure the time away from supplemental oxygen so well – maintaining a safe level of oxygen in his blood for the entire day. It probably helped, of course, that he wasn't smoking, but there's no telling him that.

Please continue to pray for us as we share the Good News with him and the other Yellow Leaf people who live here. And, thank you for sharing in the burdens of this work with your love, prayers and gifts. We are so thankful for the $«Custom Field 2» that you have sent us over the last two months.

You can click the link here to see some pictures of Lapat Joy, the special needs Yellow Leaf girl who is being cared for at Hope Home in Chiang Mai City, Thailand. Please keep her in your prayers.

We were last back in the States in 2007. Seems like only yesterday. . . But, we are now making tentative plans to come back again for a short time next year. We'd like to arrive the first part of August 2011 and stay through at least part of October the same year. Please pray with us as we look into purchasing tickets, lining up meetings and all the other details that have to be worked out. In case you haven't guessed, we're very excited!

Thank you again for being a part of our lives.

«Custom Field 3»

«Custom Field 4»

__________________________
Gene and Mary Long
203 M. 13 Ban Bunyuen
T. Ban Wiang A. Rong Kwang
Phrae 54140
Thailand

2nd try

2010-12-05T17:15:00.001-08:00

Dear «Custom Field 1»

"Don't point at the moon!" a Yellow Leaf kid reprimanded Mary recently. "Your finger will rot off."

What would you suggest we do after hearing the above remark?

You can click the link here to see some pictures of Lapat Joy, the special needs Yellow Leaf girl who is being cared for at Hope Home in Chiang Mai City, Thailand. Please keep her in your prayers.

Thank you again for being a part of our lives.

«Custom Field 3»

«Custom Field 4»

__________________________
Gene and Mary Long
203 M. 13 Ban Bunyuen
T. Ban Wiang A. Rong Kwang
Phrae 54140
Thailand

Corporate Giants and Giant Consumers

2009-10-11T23:17:00.001-07:00

What do Double Stuff Oreo^® Cookies, Blue M&M's^® candies and Whey Protein Concentrate have in common?

I know it is tempting to guess that these all represent essential nutrients for our health and waistlines. The tip off that this is the wrong answer is that all colors of M&M's contain exactly the same nutritional value; each color of M&M's will nourish you as well, if not as flamboyantly, as blue.

It can't be taste, or Whey Protein Concentrate would not be on the list.

It can't be price; only Oreos and M&M's are priced to fit any budget.

It can't even be nothing, or I would not have had the temerity to ask in the first place. And, one thing I don't have much of is temerity. Unless temerity is some kind of fat, like cellulite. Which it isn't.

Stumped, aren't you! That's because you've been looking for the answer in all the wrong places.

Each of these products is manufactured, advertised and sold because some "corporate giant" discovered what consumers wanted and figured out how to get it to them – and how to make a buck doing it! Your waistline, their bottom line. This could be expressed in other, more amusing ways, I'm sure.

Of course, the "corporate giants" aren't going to do all the work for us consumers. It is up to us, the "giant consumers," to figure out how to consume as much of this stuff that we want as we can. And, how to pay for it. In a word, "corporate giants" can't really do their job without our help. And, from the looks of things, we've been pretty compliant helpers. Except for maybe the Whey Protein Concentrate consumers; but they are still a niche market. No economies of scale there.

This is why Microsoft, for instance, makes more money than, say, Brylcreem. It also explains why we no longer have Corvairs, 45 rpm records or hula hoops. But, that is only the economic side of the issue. There is more.

Part of it is research. You can't dream up something as innovative as double cream filling in a cookie just sitting in a giant corporate giant chair. You have to be out there watching kids (and a few adults; not me, and maybe not you, either) carefully pull their cookies apart and eat the frosting first. Bingo, the lights go on!

If these cookies had been made in Germany, the corporate giants there would try to figure out a way to keep that from happening; after all, a great deal of money was invested in making sure the creme had just the right mix of transfats and sugar to make it stick first to the cookie and then to your arteries. The machinery to do this cost a fortune. They could be excused had they put a bolt through the center of the biscuit and sat back to enjoy watching people eat the right way for a change.

But, Oreo's are a quintessentially American treat. And, where others see only calories, American corporate giants see opportunities to slather on even more calories. And, "we the people" line up to buy these delicious morsels to feed to ourselves and, more importantly, to our children. You have to hand it to us – we are a big hearted people. The rest of our anatomies are catching up fast.

Blue M&M's were actually voted on. That was because it was too time consuming to watch people eat them; people spend hours arranging them into groups of like colors, or like groupings of various colors, or saving all the red ones till last or some other weird variation on this theme. The good people at Mars just asked consumers what color they wanted their calories wrapped in and the consumers responded with alacrity. (Alacrity is derived from a Latin word meaning "open mouths and open wallets.") There is something to be said for the democratization of fattening snacks. I wonder if the Whey Protein Concentrate people have tried this yet?

Not that it is going to be easy for them. The Whey Protein Concentrate folks have a lot to overcome here. What are they going to have people vote on? What, pray tell, would they find to double in it? "Twice the protein" just isn't going to entice people to stop licking the double creme off their cookies.

Which brings us to the real problem for the Whey Protein Concentrate manufacturers out there. Most people do not seem to be very concerned about being "fat bound." They are, however, very wary of becoming "muscle bound." In the real world, this means that people feel unease if their shoulders are too big for airplane seats, but not if their midsections are. Or, it means that it's OK to be too fat to bend over, but not OK to be too muscular to do so. If that makes any sense to you, go have another bag of M&M's. In fact, make them peanut M&M's.

Me? I'm going to go lift some dumbbells. Right after my Almond Joy mini.

You gotta love those corporate giants,

gene, the giant consumer king

PS Seriously, though, don't be fooled. It is NOT easy to build large muscles! If it were, I'd have done it already. And posted pictures on this blog. You'll notice that there are no pictures. I assure you that there are no plans for any pictures, either!

There is a slim chance that people can be persuaded to have a better diet before they have a heart attack. There is a slightly better chance after their first heart attack. But, their chances of ever getting so muscle laden that they lose mobility in any sense of the term are about the same as being hit by a meteor.

Don't take my word for it. Tom Venuto has built some pretty impressive muscles; he even has pictures on his blog. Ask him if it was easy! Ask him about being "muscle bound." And, ask him what kinds of protein supplements he takes to get the job done. His answers may surprise you. Hint: He does not sell any supplements.

Weenie Arm (free gift offer at the end of this posting!)

2009-09-22T05:46:00.001-07:00

King Solomon said, "The glory of young men is their strength, gray hair the splendor of the old." (Proverbs 20:29)

By this standard, my youth passed without much glory.

When I was in fourth grade, our family moved to Texas, where the blissfully unstructured "recess" time of Lawton, Oklahoma was replaced by "Phys Ed" with a real "coach." It was in this class that I learned that I was a "weenie arm." I already knew, since about first grade, that I was a chicken, so finding out that I was also a weenie arm didn't come as a complete surprise. In fact, it actually explained things a bit. It didn't bother me that much, either, since I could pretty well outrun all the other guys, especially the big ones.

Still, it was something of a relief to pass from youth into the early stages of "old." Gray hair seems to come more naturally to me than glorious, youthful strength ever did. Maybe my remaining years will have a tinge of splendor!

But not, it seems, without unwelcome reminders of my inglorious youth.

One such reminder has come in the person of a Thai friend of mine who is only half a dozen years older than I am. He has it all exactly backwards. For one thing, he has died his hair jet black. Moreover, he's been putting in overtime at the local fitness center, which he owns. He likes to wear sleeveless shirts and flex his muscles at people, especially weenie arm old men with gray hair. He caught me again at the supermarket in town the other day.

"Don't buy commercial juice," he advised me, peering into my cart. "Eat fresh food, like me. That's how you get real strength." He rubbed his forearms menacingly.

I looked in his cart. There was a big bunch of expensive grapes, some kind of greens that I didn't recognize and a loaf of bread in it. Bread?

I'm no fool. I know I'm not in good shape, but I've been doing some research into health and fitness. I might be a weenie arm, but I can google. And knowledge, as they say, is power.

"Wait a minute," I parried. "You aren't going to eat this, are you?" I lifted the bread out of his cart and held it up. "Do you have any idea how much sugar is in this stuff? It must be loaded with trans fats and trihydrocarbs," I said, using some new words I've learned from the internet. "I would never eat this! Don't you care about your health?"

He changed the subject and tried to get me to buy some beets, but fortunately they were out of them that day. He trotted off to the seafood aisle while I sneaked over to buy three bags of white sugar. Small bags, of course.

When it rains, it pours; I met him again in the check out line. I hid my sugar underneath some cookies and tried to be friendly. I also tried to keep him off balance, so I looked in his cart. Guess what? No bread! "I put it back," he conceded.

Then, he began bragging again. "I can do fifty pushups," he said. This seemed unlikely. I can do five on a good day, six if I'm really stoked. This guy is six years older than I am and he can do fifty? Sure.

On the off hand chance that I could provoke him to actually demonstrate for me, I gave voice to my suspicions. "It's true," he said and got down and did about ten pushups right there in the store. The other customers watched in stunned silence. I probably looked like a weenie arm. Shades of fourth grade. . .

I got through the check out line first and made sure I put some distance between us – I ducked into KFC for a quick lunch. I know, I know: This probably wasn't the most "heart healthy" choice I could have made. But, it was one place I knew I could go where my friend wouldn't find me!

None of which means I don't take this seriously. I do. In fact, the very next chance I get, I'm going to google "pushups."

You gotta start somewhere,

gene

PS Seriously, though, you really do have to start somewhere.

You can spend hours and days searching the internet and finding all kinds of contradictory advice. You can spend money hand over fist on supplements that will "melt the fat" off. You can get a personal trainer, join a gym or follow some wierd regimine like the "Hallelujah Diet."

And, if you don't get the results you want, you can start all over again. You sure wouldn't be the first person to do that!

Listen, here is an alternative plan: Start by reading Tom Venuto's mini-course, Big Fat Lies. Tom has given me special permission to put this course into a PDF format. You can get the entire twelve part course in one handy document, which you can read at one sitting. This is an exclusive offer, not available anywhere else! Just email me at fat.baptist.preachers@gmail.com for your copy. I'm fully set up to handle this manually, hence there may be a slight delay in getting it to you.

Or, better yet, just pick up your copy of his Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle eBook now.

A Little Behind

2009-09-04T23:29:00.001-07:00

A word of explanation here. . . Though based on facts, the following little sketch contains a number of embellishments. Also, names and incidents have been disguised to protect the innocent and still present our hero in a positive light. Therefore, it could legitimately be considered "fiction." If you object to legitimacy, call it "political autobiography." And, if you think you see yourself in here somewhere, that would be your imagination at work, not mine.

Considerations of genre aside, most people would agree that no one likes to look like an idiot. And, nothing makes a person look more like an idiot than being hopelessly behind the times. So, after having been in Thailand for over six years when we arrived in the States for a short furlough in 2007, I decided to fall back on a little tactic that is widely used in missionary circles, even if it isn't explicitly taught in missionary school: I'd keep my eye out for contemporary topics of conversation. Then I'd drop these little gems into conversations at opportune moments and make a good impression on friends and supporters.

I picked up on my first topic even as we were leaving the airport after arrival. There was a big sign with a handsome man and a beautiful woman smiling at each other. The message said something about a colonoscopy. I don't remember that being a topic of conversation last time we were in the States, but new fads come and go with some regularity. I wasn't sure what it meant, either, but it seemed to make the people on the billboard happy enough and it was obviously a topic of public interest. Just what the doctor ordered. I made a mental note for future reference.

It wasn't long before I had a chance to use my new-found knowledge. I confided to a friend that I thought I might get Mary a colonoscopy for our anniversary. His reply: "Boy, Gene, you think of everything." Bingo! I could tell this was going to work. He was probably picturing Mary and me up there on a billboard, smiling at each other. I know I was.

"You can't get them in Thailand?" another friend asked upon hearing my plan.

"Well, I'm sure they're available," I said, winging it. "But in Thailand they'd be, you know, kind of a high end proposition." This seemed to satisfy him and we went on to talk about, of all things, the details of some recent medical issues he had faced. Isn't that gross? Is everything fair game for conversation these days?

I mentioned getting a colonoscopy to a third friend, and she asked me, "For Mary, not for yourself?" I hadn't anticipated this, so I had to think fast. Trying to sound unselfish, I said, "Well, I thought I'd get her one first. If she she takes a shine to it . . . I don't know, do you think two colonoscopies are too much for one family?"

That really stumped her. "How long have you been married?" was all she could say. When I told her we'd been married for over thirty years, she just sighed, "Amazing." I could tell she thought Mary was one lucky lady. I knew I was setting the pace pretty fast for the other men out there, but let's face it – someone's got to be out front. If not me, who?

I soon discovered that I wasn't in the vanguard; I was bringing up the rear, so to speak. We were staying with some friends and our hosts asked us if we'd like to go to Wal-Mart. "That would be perfect," I said. "I need to pick up a colonoscopy anyway."

Well, I'm no fool. I could tell right away by their reaction that Wal-Mart would not be where one goes to find colonoscopies. So, I immediately went into recovery mode: "I mean, you know, if you're also planning to swing by Target. I'd like to get two; one for me, one for Mary."

"Gene, do you know what a colonoscopy is?" came the inevitable question.

By this time, I could tell that I was pretty much eliminated from the running so far as avoiding looking idiotic went. As long as you're going to be behind times, you'd just as well do it in style: "Well, is it bigger than a breadbox?" I parried, borrowing a line I had often heard on a TV game show that was popular about forty years ago. I tried to flash a smile, but I think I looked more like I was getting a colonoscopy.

I was mortified to find out what a colonoscopy really is! I guess I should have googled it first. I'm still trying to figure out why that couple on the billboard was so happy. Maybe because they only talked about things like this on the billboard, and not with friends. Former friends, I mean.

Just a little behind,

gene

PS I realize that this is a little off the main topic of this blog: nutrition and exercise. Still, one of the main points of eating right and getting exercise is good health, and monitoring one's health is part of that.

I'm not sure of the correlation between a healthy diet and unremarkable (i.e., good) results from your colonoscopy, but I'd bet it matters. Ditto for exercise. If you've ever wondered about a sensible way to go about that, you can do yourself a favor by ordering Tom Venuto's eBook, Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle by clicking here. This course is designed in such a way that you can begin implementing what you learn soon after you download it. And, it is detailed enough that you will continue learning and refining your own program for an unlimited time.

Don't get even a little behind!

Six-pack Abs

2009-07-15T00:51:00.000-07:00

Many of my close friends are aware that I have been trying to get in better shape. It's a journey that I've been on for over a year now, and the results have been remarkable, if I do say so myself.

I've completely revamped my eating habits. I eat better food, more food and more often than I ever did before. Much to my surprise, I've developed a taste for oatmeal; I like it almost as much as I like fried bamboo grubs. Who could have foreseen this?

I also get in some exercise now. I have discovered "cardio." Mostly, I discovered that I don't like it, but that it does help burn off the fat. I also do resistance exercises and body weight exercises. To be more specific, I resist doing exercises; too much body weight.

Just kidding you. I really have lost over thirty pounds and have been able to keep it off. Pants that I couldn't fasten two years ago are now too loose. I don't even have to shop for bell-bottom shirts anymore.

My wife doesn't really have any stronger background in body building than I do, but she has been very supportive and willing to learn. I mentioned "six-pack abs" to her recently, and she said, "What are six-pack abs?" Boy, am I ever glad I married a girl who doesn't know what six-pack abs are!

I could have told her to google it, but I don't get a chance to show off every day, and we were alone in the house . . . So, I stood up, took off my shirt and pointed to the general area where I think six-pack abs might fit. Then I said, "See this? This is where six-pack abs belong, and this is also what six-pack abs don't look like!"

Still, she does her best to encourage me. She took my arm as we crossed the street the other day and said, "Is this where six-pack biceps would go?" If I ever doubted it before, I now knew I had a marriage made in heaven!

My goal is to continue gaining more muscle (or "lean mass," as it's called in the trade) until I reach a massive 135 pounds. And, as I said earlier, my success to date has been remarkable. Of course, I'm probably NOT gaining more muscle in the places where I'm gaining the most mass. If I am, then I must have the strongest belly button in the world!

I told you the results were remarkable!

gene

PS Seriously, though, gaining, and maintaining, muscle is important for many reasons, probably the least of which is six-pack biceps! Or even six-pack abs, for that matter.

I'm not going to start on all the reasons that you should be devoting some serious effort to exercise; it's a long and complex subject that doesn't lend itself to wise cracks. But, if you email me, I'll be glad to send you a PDF copy of Tom Venuto's mini-course, Big Fat Lies. He'll give you a good introduction to why it is important to have an individualized nutrition and exercise plan – one that is designed to make a difference for you, no one else. None of these "ready made menu plans" from Tom; he empowers you, giving you the knowledge you need to design your own menus. (Hint: Bamboo grubs are not part of the plan, so relax.)

Better yet, order Tom's massive and best-selling eBook, Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle. It will give you the information that you need to break old habits, learn new tricks and avoid having your belly button the strongest part of your anatomy. So, don't start staring at your navel now; click here to order!

BFFM Book Review

2009-04-26T01:01:00.001-07:00

Very few people, especially Baptist preachers, really want to be fat, out of shape and/or sick. I sure don't. Like many people, I had some limited success in shedding weight in the past, but it always came back. My understanding of dieting was simple: "Eat food, gain weight. Don't eat, lose weight." Tom Venuto, in his massive eBook, Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle, explains why this is not just an incomplete explanation, but why it is almost always counterproductive.

The main question most people have when they read a book review is, "Is this book worth the money to buy, the time to read?" If that is your primary question, and if getting in shape is your goal, you can skip the rest of this review and just click here to buy the book! It is definitely worth the money!

Probably the second question people have is, "How much money are we talking about?" The answer is $39.95. Forty bucks for an eBook may sound steep. Fair enough, if you are into acid-free paper, quality bindings, gilt edges. Also fair enough if, like me, your budget is a little tight. However, if you are interested in information that can make a difference in your life, this book is not expensive. It's a wise investment. You are buying Tom Venuto's years of research, study and hard work.

The primary strength of this book is the vast amount of information it contains. Mind you, none of the information in this book is brand new; all of it is "out there" and has been for a long time. The value is having all the information in one place, integrated into one plan that you can (must) customize to fit yourself. It is not a "One size fits all/ Do it this way or else" approach.

The entire manual is written with references to getting leaner. Tom explains the difference between losing weight and losing fat. Somewhat counter-intuitively, these are not the same. He shows you how to lose fat and retain muscle; he even cautions against losing weight too fast, and tells you why.

We all know that a balanced diet does not consist of Freedom Fries, Coke and Almond Joys. We also know there is more to a good nutrition program than just eliminating tasty food. BFFM gives you the information you need to make informed, healthy decisions. Tasty ones, too!

The BFFM program is balanced, not extreme. It is moderate. This appeals to the Baptist preacher in me! It is not "high this, low that." In fact, Tom warns you to stay away from extremes in diet and exercise. This is a sane and reasonable approach, and contrasts vividly with, for instance, the "Hallelujah Diet," a so-called Christian approach based on heavy supplementation, questionable science and tee-totally wacked-out theology.

Tom takes, and encourages you to take, a positive point of view. He doesn't try to tell you that positive thinking will make you lean, but he rightly points out that it is a good place to start. Good Baptist preachers know the value and validity of thinking on those things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous, or praiseworthy. I don't recommend getting this book so you can go kick sand in the face of the bully at the beach. I recommend it for getting and staying in good health so you can serve the Lord and others. You may even find that your testimony improves and any exhortations you give about moderation carry more, er. . . well, carry more weight!

The BFFM plan requires that you take full responsibility for your fitness (or, fatness, as the case may be). This isn't always pleasant to hear, but it certainly gives people hope, as any Baptist preacher who has ever counseled anybody could tell you.

Tom says that his plan is simple, but not easy. He tells you up front that it requires hard work. Everything good takes work, so this is not a surprise. Baptist preachers believe in hard work, so this resonates. However, compared to the typical way of dieting, it is more than easy; it's a cinch. That is, it really works, and that makes the hard work seem like a lot less work!

There is a good section on genetics, and how this affects the path you will take as well as the results you will see. I went into this endeavor figuring that my genetics were way off to one side of the standard derivational curve. Now that I've been on it for a while, my genetics have improved considerably!

The BFFM approach to fat loss includes exercise. Tom gives numerous suggestions for this, suitable for anyone from rank beginners (me!) to serious body builders. I had been dragging, pushing and sometimes lifting some dumbbells around for over a year before I bought the book. My exercise time is now more productive, safer and (here's the kicker!) takes less time.

The BFFM manual is over 300 pages long, so you won't master it all in one sitting. It isn't particularly entertaining, but it is very motivating – you don't have to read far before you realize, "Hey, I can do that!"

There are some typos in the book. This won't bother most people, though they are distracting and should be avoided and corrected in future editions. A few are a little confusing, such as the one on page 176 where non-essential amino acids and essential amino acids are both called "dispensable amino acids." Reading a little further clarifies that essential amino acids are really "indispensable." Could have guessed, I know.

Printing a book this big, even though it doesn't have any graphics, is a bit of a task. Once you've finished with that, what do you do with it? I suggest putting it in a three or four ring binder, just in case you ever need to replace a page. That, by the way, is an option you don't have with "real" books!

Tom Venuto has given me special permission to put his twelve-part mini-course, Big Fat Lies, into a PDF format and make it available to the readers of this blog. You can get the entire course in one handy document, which you can read at one sitting. This is an exclusive offer, not available anywhere else! Just email me at fat.baptist.preachers@gmail.com for your copy. Following the general guidelines in this mini-course (parts of it are right out the book) will be enough to get you headed in the right direction.

To lift a phrase from Tom, "Train hard, expect success."

– gene

Exercise

2009-03-26T08:20:00.001-07:00

I probably don't need to emphasize the general topic of "food" and how important it is to our overall health, to say nothing of our very overall weight. How much food we eat, how often we eat it, and/or what kind of food we eat are all very important. We all already know this.

Of somewhat less importance is whether or not we juice our food. If you really enjoy the taste of food juice, I say go for it; juice your food. Be aware, however, that not all foods CAN be juiced, at least not in a juicer. Bacon, for instance, is best juiced in a hot skillet. Ditto for beef steaks, pork chops and chicken, though these latter also lend themselves to being juiced over a hot grill.

Food is only half the equation in weight loss. Of equal importance is exercise. There are a few hardy souls who see sports as an appropriate way to get exercise. Easy enough for those who are blessed with strong bodies, tall bodies, coordinated bodies and/or hyperactive bodies in the first place. Those of us who are a little weak, a little short, not very coordinated and/or just plain lazy need a better alternative than sports.

Jogging used to be popular when I was younger. Not with me, of course, but with the overweight old people in my neighborhood. I had a Dodge Dart which was my idea of exercise. Exercising my freedom, I would hop in it whenever the mood struck me and head for a fast food outlet and overeat. Not on anything that had been juiced, either, unless soft drinks count.

I'm older and overweight now, but jogging still isn't popular with me. I don't like getting outside in all the weather, being chased by dogs while I run past all those fast food places and then get home hungry. Pointless.

I'd rather run in place at home. Or, in some cases, even sprint at home. Sprinting from the office to the refrigerator is great exercise, and sometimes you can find some freshly juiced Coke in there, too. Once, I found an entire cheese cake, unjuiced!

Remember calisthenics? I think this became the rage shortly after John Kennedy was elected President last century. (Or was it last millennium? In any case, it was definitely a long time ago.) I remember being in a classroom with a lot of other second graders while our teacher tried to teach us calisthenics, one of which was "deep breathing." Even as a second grader, I was insightful enough to realize that I was NOT going to end up looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger by doing "deep breathing" exercises! On the other hand, I've found that this is one of the few exercises you can do in your sleep, and there's certainly something to be said for that!

Other calisthenics are a little more profitable, even if they have to be done while you are awake and standing up. "Toe touches" help keep you limber. If, like me, you've not had occasion to touch your toes for a while, you may want to try it, just to see how limber you aren't. If you want to do this exercise on a regular basis, by all means work your way up to a reasonable number by starting with just a few toe touches. My personal recommendation is to start with one.

By gradually increasing the number you do, over a period of only a few months you can work your way up to ten, possibly more. Be careful, however, since doing too many toe touches may result in lower back pain. Here is the medical definition of lower back pain: "Pain in the lower back, not to be confused with pain in the neck and/or other areas of the anatomy. Often caused by too many toe touches."

"Jumping jacks" are about as sensible as they sound. Avoid them, and judge the value of all calisthenics by their names. "Squat thrust," for instance, is a combination of words that no one had any business teaching second graders in 1961, and no adult in 2009 in his and/or her right mind has any business trying to do one.

Many of my friends have machines of one sort or another that provide them with a needed dose of exercise: Stationary bikes, stationary treadmills, stationary boats, stationary hang gliders, stationary bungee cords (for those who prefer extreme exercise), and a few things that look like stationary torture racks. One man I know says he gets all the exercise he needs just moving the stationary bike from one side of the living room to the other.

Here where we live in Thailand, we have a stationary mountain. It combines most of the benefits of every form of exercise I've ever seen, even deep breathing. In fact, especially deep breathing. Plus, you can get out in the weather and be chased by dogs, just like jogging. You can get dirty and sweaty, just like sports. You can fall down, twist your ankle or otherwise injure yourself, just like most calisthenics. And, the view from the top is fantastic.

There is only one drawback: A stationary mountain is a little too big to fit in your living room!

Off to the gym,

gene

PS Seriously, though, exercise is important. The most important exercise is exercising oneself to godliness. Compared to that, bodily exercise is of little profit.

That's not to say that bodily exercise is of no profit. In fact, it can be of quite a bit of profit, if it helps keep you healthy and able to serve others. It's certainly much more profitable than a lot of other things that take up our time, some of which are – to our shame – of no profit whatsoever. (I didn't say TV; did you?)

Way back in 2007, it was my hap to light upon Tom Venuno's website. Although very skeptical, I finally decided to order his free mini-course, called Big Fat Lies. I didn't use my usual email account, because I was even skeptical of his spam policy.

I knew, by the second installment of Big Fat Lies, that Tom was a sensible man, six-pack abs notwithstanding. And, I never got any spam from him or anyone else remotely concerned with weight loss.

A recent unexpected gift allowed me to purchase his eBook, Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle. I was already exercising, working out with dumbbells for up to an hour a day. I was glad to read the book and find out what I was doing right (a little), what I was doing wrong (quite a bit), what more I could do and how I could get more results in the process.

I'm not an aspiring bodybuilder. I'm not in a contest; it's not about looking good on the beach. It's not about me; it's about being able to do the job the Lord has given me.

I just want to be a wise steward of the gifts the Lord has given me. I never knew many of the things I learned from this book, or I'd have started this years ago.

If you're in the same boat with me, you're definitely going to be interested in this. You can start with the mini-course, or you can just purchase the eBook now and check it out for yourself. It comes with an 8-week, no-risk, unconditional 100% money back guarantee!

Would I kid you?

For more information, send an email to me at fat.baptist.preachers@gmail.com.

Eat Your Way to Health?

2009-03-21T03:44:00.000-07:00

I'm not really lazy, just a little heavy and "out of shape," as my doctor puts it. I've been keeping my eyes open for a fast, easy way to get fit and healthy. My secretly cherished hope that I could eat my way into shape was confirmed when I got an unsolicited email entitled "Olympic Athletes' Diet Secrets." Ah! Just what the doctor ordered. I put down my Almond Joy and clicked.

No need to google it; I'll tell you what Olympic athletes eat. They eat food. Admittedly, their food hasn't been processed as much as mine has. If you're not familiar with the jargon, "processing" is what distinguishes salad from an Almond Joy. Anyway, most of the items in their diets are also found in mine, just in slightly different proportions. So, that's it?

Look, I'm no fool. Diet alone can't account for the differences between me and Michael Phelps, to pick an athlete at random. Body mass obviously plays a part, too. Body mass is calculated by multiplying your height by the number of calories in your favorite candy bar. Or, in a pinch, you can compare your own picture with one of Michael Phelps.

Mind you, total mass is not the whole problem. Part of the problem is distribution. I mentioned to Mary the other day that I wouldn't really need to lose any more weight if I could just move some of my body mass from my stomach to my shoulders. "Hmmm," she mused. "Pot shoulders. Should be interesting, though I doubt it's any healthier."

Well, if that sounds bizarre, listen to one of the funniest, craziest, most absurd things I've ever heard about getting in shape: "The best way to lose weight is to eat smaller portions and get more exercise." Ha ha ha ha ha! See if you can top that one! I don't know where people come up with these things. Can you imagine?! Priceless, isn't it?

Haven't they ever heard about real diets? I'm working on my own right now. It's called Gene's Olympian Diet: Bigger, Wider, Fatter. Once published, I expect it to be a massive best seller.

Following my diet will be loads of fun. However, it won't leave you looking like an Olympic athlete. And, you may find yourself with a dependence on chocolate, coconut and almonds.

Don't say you weren't warned.

gene

PS Seriously, though, diet and exercise are important aspects of getting – and staying – in good health. That's not the question. The question is how to go about it in a sane, efficient, sustainable way. "Eat smaller portions and get more exercise" is a little vague. So, what can be done?

You can do what Tom Venuto has done: Spend a few years doing research, and a couple of decades training hundreds of people, to fine tune a program that will work for you. Or, you can avail yourself of the information available to you in Tom's eBook, Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle. Tom has written a sensible, balanced, informative, massive volume that shows you how to design an individualized nutrition and exercise plan that fits you best.

He is NOT selling supplements, vitamins, exercise equipment, pills, drugs or even Almond Joys. Just information that will help you reach goals you may have thought were unattainable, and to do so without inadvertently doing things that sabotage your own efforts. I recently bought it, and it has revolutionized the way I eat, exercise and live. I only wish I had known these things years ago.

But, don't just take my word for it – visit his Burn the Fat website to learn all about the program, sign up for his twelve part mini course, Big Fat Lies, and get even more free goodies to get you started. Then, when you are serious about fat loss, order his eBook here.

Or, better yet, order now. Listen, you have nothing to lose but fat. Tom even offers you an 8-WEEK, NO-RISK, UNCONDITIONAL 100% MONEY BACK GUARANTEE!

Gene's Holiday Diet Secret

2009-02-28T05:15:00.001-08:00

I've been thinking about weight control lately. I know, I know: This is a pretty poor time of year to think about that subject! Not to imply that there is a good time to think about it.

I don't know how it works where you live, but many people find it easy to stray from their diet goals during the end of the year holiday season. Part of the reason is that the end of the year holiday season starts around the fourth of July and doesn't really let up till Spring. By then, it's time for picnics.

Another factor is all of the practice we've had not being on a diet the rest of the year. If you've been eating as much of everything you can find since January, why slow down now, just as the really good food comes out? It's not like you're trying to cut back on Krispy Kreme donuts. You can do that any time you want to. Now it's turkey and dressing and gravy and three kinds of potatoes with real butter and pumpkin pie and. . . things which don't find space on our tables most of the rest of the year. Cut back? Listen, the rest of the year has been warm-up for these very meals!

Finally, many of the essential activities of the season require food. Do you know anyone who has ever watched a football game without eating? I didn't think so. What would be the point in that?

Most of the advice that the "experts" give us is not helpful. "Get more exercise." Think about it: You've just eaten half a smoked ham, along with all of the fixings, and now you are going to jog down to the gym, get on the treadmill and burn off six weeks of calories in one afternoon? I doubt it, but if you do, you can be pretty sure you'll have the whole gym to yourself.

Here is one of my personal favorites: "Eat in moderation." That doesn't work very well even at times of the year when the point of breathing is something besides eating. How is it going to work now? How do you overeat in moderation? "I'll just stop at seconds on the pie and ice cream, thanks; no thirds this year. I'm trying not to gain weight."

So, does all this mean that we are doomed to failure again this year? Hardly. For most people, the missing piece of the weight control puzzle is goal setting. Set reasonable, achievable goals, and success is all but assured.

I'm no fool. I know that we can reasonably expect to gain some pounds and inches this time of year. Fine. Let's set some limits though. Then, when our weight gain is within our goals, we can feel good about ourselves, something that will motivate us to set more goals, achieve more success.

Here is my weight control mission statement for the 2008-2009 holiday season: I plan to keep my weight gain to less than one hundred pounds and ten inches around my waist between now and the end of the year. I am sure I can do this. I am determined to keep within that goal. I am totally focused on success and see no way I can fail. I am totally plumped! I mean, pumped.

You are welcome to try this same system yourself. You may want to tweak the limits a bit, to reflect your own experiences and menu, but remember to keep it within reach.

Let me know if this works for you!

Feeling better already,

gene

PS Seriously, though, setting goals is an important part of getting anything done. Including weight loss. Or, more specifically, fat loss. Tom Venuto has written a great eBook, Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle, that gives you the knowledge you need to be successful.

Among other things, Tom Venuto is a trainer, nutrition consultant, freelance writer, gym owner and success coach based in Hoboken, New Jersey. Really! Hoboken. He is also the author of the successful Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle fat loss program. Burn the Fat is based on real-world results and years of experience. Oddly, most of it is just plain, common sense; it would make our mothers happy! However, there is lots of information in the eBook that was news to me.

Why in the world would I recommend Burn the Fat? Listen, I made some fantastic progress losing fat and gaining muscle just following the general suggestions in his twelve part mini-course. I didn't have the cash to buy the eBook, but I was impressed with what he had to say in his free stuff. Plus, I saw tremendous results just doing the things I could figure out from his general information. I've since purchased the eBook and seen even more progress. This works for me, and it will work for you, too!

Or, better yet, order now. Listen, you have nothing to lose but fat. Tom even offers you an 8-WEEK, NO-RISK, UNCONDITIONAL 100% MONEY BACK GUARANTEE!

Good News on Being Fat

2009-02-28T04:37:00.001-08:00

First, the bad news. Americans are getting fatter at an alarming pace. Why? I know it's tempting to say "Americans are getting fatter because they are gluttons." The full story, however, is more nuanced. After years of experience, I think I finally understand how it works: If you eat too much of anything, your body will store it as fat. Even good things, like Almond Joys. That's the bad news.

So, is there any good news? Yes, there is. Although our bodies are very efficient fat storage machines, even they can't keep up with us if we eat waaaay too many calories waaaaay too fast. So, while we might be getting fatter, we probably are not getting fatter as fast as we deserve to be. Wonderful, isn't it? Getting away with something is such a good feeling!

Of course, no one can get away with things forever, not even Bernie Madoff. So, before it's too late, I've been trying to improve my nutrition and carbs (whatever "carbs" are). An important part of this is counting calories (whatever "calories" are). This has been a frustrating endeavor, since most of the information I've found on the subject relates to American food. A table of nutrient values for Long Family Cuisine probably does not exist, if for no other reason than some of the odd stuff we eat here.

It's not so much that we are odd and therefore enjoy odd food. It's just that not all the foods available in America are on the shelf here in Thailand. We've learned to make allowances – and substitutions – in order to alleviate this problem. I asked Mary to give me examples of common substitutions she has made over the years. The results are instructive:

When you are out of:	You can always use:
Bread	Rice
Potatoes	Rice
Pasta	Rice
Crackers	Rice
Fast Food Hamburger	Fried Rice
Whole Wheat	Whole Rice
Bacon	Bamboo Grubs
Almond Joy	Almond Joy minis

A few facts stand out immediately. To begin with, it helps a lot if you like rice. Also, once you figure out calories for rice, most of your work is done. Finally, it's obvious that there really is no substitute for an Almond Joy. But, you already knew that, didn't you?

I'm no fool. I realize that I still have a lot to learn about this subject. But, for now, I am very excited to have finally found one area of my life where I am not a loser. Or, a winner, either, for that matter.

I just like to eat, that's all,

gene